Perchance to dream
by Soroka
Summary: Sanji finds himself at the mercy of a curse that makes him fall asleep every time he gets close to Zoro. This peculiar narcolepsy unleashes a series of events neither of them quite expected. Written for the irreplaceable Kumiko-Hasegawa. Zosan.
1. Chapter 1

**So, yeah. This finally happened. Tumblr has finally swayed me to write actual Zosan. Look out, people, it's the end of the civilized world as you know it. **

**This was written for Kumiko Hasegawa, based on a prompt she gave me almost a year ago. I'm glacially slow, sorry. **

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"I am going to kill Usopp."

The words came accompanied by a burning heat wave that rose from his neck and spilt over his cheeks. Sanji silently thanked the gods for being alone in the enormous kitchen of the Thousand Sunny where his embarrassment could go unnoticed. The small green Den Den Mushi stuck to a cupboard above seemed to pick up on his tone and scowled.

"Come on, love cook, he couldn't have known. You might as well blame Nami for wanting an upgrade to her Clima Tact."

Sanji rolled his eyes and tried his best not to engage in another yelling match with the swordsman on the other end of the line. The last two weeks had been a nightmare to say the least, and Zoro's attitude was not helping. It had all started after a routine stop to restock. The island they had chosen seemed normal enough and they even allowed themselves to hang around a bit longer than expected. It was at that moment when Usopp had spotted what he deemed as the perfect material for Nami's new Clima Tact. It was supposed to infuse her lightning bolts with even more power but upon trying it for the first time, the rod unleashed a large, crackling stream of orange light that caught Sanji and Zoro dead center and blasted them all the way to the rear side of the ship. He still remembered Nami's scream and Usopp's face going pale as a sheet, convinced that he had killed them both.

The next morning, Sanji almost wished he had.

It had begun immediately after breakfast. He would start yawning and getting sleepy whenever the swordsman was nearby. Zoro, of course, took it as some sort of creative insult and soon enough, they were fighting at nearly every turn. Their fights, however, always seemed to end up with Sanji pinned to the ground, drowsy and lightheaded, something that amused the swordsman to no end until even _he_ started to grow concerned. By that time, they had sailed too far away from the island and the possibility of asking anyone about the strange ore was gone. He could only pray that Robin or Chopper would find out something useful before even being on the same ship as Zoro would render him comatose. Meanwhile, the best way to keep his little narcolepsy problem under control was to stay as far away from the swordsman as possible.

For some reason, he was finding that harder than expected.

He took a deep breath and concentrated on stirring the apple sauce in a large metal pot over the fire. His free hand grabbed the green receptor of the Den Den Mushi and brought it to his mouth.

"My precious Nami couldn't possibly have known, but Usopp should have at least looked twice before picking up any shitty ore lying around." Another snicker erupted from the green device and Sanji could feel his eyebrows twitching in annoyance. "This isn't funny, you know?! What happens if we get attacked? Have you thought about that?"

The green snail's mouth spread in the widest shit-eating grin he had ever seen. For a second, Sanji almost saw Zoro smirking at him from behind the creature's dull, listless eyes.

"Well, in that case you can just take a nap and let me take care of things. You tend to get in the way, after all."

Sanji's fingers dug into the green shell, his knuckles turning white. The hand that held onto the ladle was beginning to quiver as he felt his voice break into a loud yell.

"Fuck you seaweed-head! Say that to my face if you have the balls!"

"Are you sure about that?" Zoro voice was dripping with malice now. "I would hate to see you drooling on my shirt again."

"What did you just say!?" Sanji's patience was reaching its limits as he seriously considered taking his chances with the swordsman, cursed or not. "Don't get too cocky! I could still kick your ass with one foot tied behind my…"

A faint smell of caramelized apple hit him. Sanji looked back at the metal pot and hissed, immediately removing the sauce from the fire. He stirred it gently, trying to determine whether it had burned but the golden brown liquid seemed just a bit overdone.

He let out a complicated curse and shot an angry look at the ceiling. "Don't make me come up there."

The Den Den Mushi wobbled as another quiet laugh shook it. "Not unless you really want to, eyebrows. I'll be waiting if you change your mind."

There was something in his voice that made Sanji's heart sink. He closed his eyes and leaned against the counter, feeling the anger slowly melting away. Zoro's Training Room was located directly above his kitchen, and sometimes he could hear him lifting weights or pushing increasingly larger objects around. Over the months they had been on the Sunny, he had gotten used to that sound in a way he could not describe. The fact that it might now be the only way to interact with Zoro made him feel strangely hollow.

He sighed, and grabbed the receiver again.

"I'm serious. What if this never goes away? What if we can never be around each other again?"

There was a clatter above him as inhumanly heavy weights were lowered onto the floor. The green Den Den Mushi cocked its head.

"Why do you sound so gloomy? I thought this was like winning the lottery for you."

Sanji's fingers closed tighter around the green shell. He had no answer for him, especially not when the swordsman's voice acquired that peculiar, nonchalant ring that made Sanji's stomach do jumping jacks and his entire body grow restless. There were moments when he felt he could do anything in the world for that voice.

Especially to prove it wrong.

He shook his head and stirred the apple sauce mostly to give his hands something to do. "Don't be stupid, Luffy needs us both. How are we supposed to be useful to him if we can't fight together?"

The green snail's lips twisted in a grimace. "Damn, and here I thought I had a valid excuse never to deal with you again."

"If that's what you want, why do you keep talking to me?"

There was a long, pregnant pause from the green snail followed by a cough. The reply that came a few seconds later sounded slightly embarrassed.

"What do you mean, love cook? Isn't that what you bought these things for?"

Sanji let out a short laugh as the green Den Den Mushi contorted and bent over backwards, trying to point at itself. A week ago, he had bought two yellow and green snails from a travelling salesman to have some way to communicate with Zoro in case of an emergency. Somehow, the little creature had become his inseparable companion, sitting on his shoulder all day long like a particularly slimy parrot.

Sanji found himself smiling as his eyes caught the green snail swaying gently from side to side. He hadn't even noticed how quickly these long conversations had become routine for them both, ever since Usopp's disastrous upgrade had rendered them incapable of being in close proximity of each other. He had come to look forward to the green snail's characteristic rattle and the swordsman's voice over his shoulder while he prepared food for the crew. There were days, when these conversations sounded almost pleasant.

He would miss them when things eventually went back to normal.

In the Training Room above him, he heard the swordsman place the weights back on the rack. There was a slight popping sound when the yellow snail was plucked from the floor and then footsteps of a man walking out. Sanji listened closely, trying to figure out where Zoro was heading but another crackle from the green snail snapped him out of his concentration.

"You still think Nami and Robin can fix this?"

Sanji let out a long sigh. Usopp had immediately stripped the Clima Tact of its new bizarre upgrade and Robin and Nami had been studying it ever since but so far, neither of them had been able to figure out how it worked or how to reverse the effects. He did not want to admit it but even he was slowly beginning to lose faith in their abilities.

"If anyone can do it, they can." Sanji placed the green snail on his shoulder and stepped into the pantry. "Why, you have any bright ideas of your own?"

"I do, actually." Zoro's yellow snail must have mimicked his disheartened expression because the creature on his shoulder wobbled in laughter again. "What? You don't trust me?"

"Depends." Sanji crouched on the floor and reached into a large sack, fishing out small potatoes. "Besides, I'd rather put myself in Robin and Nami's hands than in yours."

The voice on his shoulder paused, the carefree laughter dying in the swordsman's invisible throat. Sanji had just enough time to regret his phrasing before it spoke again in a sour tone.

"I figured as much." He heard the steps reach the stairs to the second floor and dissolve in the racket of the ship's energy room. "Anyway, have you considered that this is all psychosomatic?"

Sanji chuckled to himself, still fishing out the smallest potatoes from the sack. "That's a really big word. You want some ice before your brain overheats?"

He could almost see Zoro rolling his eyes as annoyance crept into his voice.

"Screw you love cook! This is the thanks I get for trying to help you out?!" Sanji shook his head as he heard him go on. "Chopper explained it to me yesterday. Maybe it's really all in your head. Maybe you just need to forget I'm there."

The last words made a sudden chill run down his spine. He dropped the potatoes in a bucket nearby and stood up really slowly, unable to ignore the sudden drowsiness creeping over him.

"Where… are you right now?"

The green Den Den Mushi on his shoulder crackled in exasperation.

"It doesn't matter. Just keep doing your thing. I might be up on the crow's nest for all you know."

Zoro's voice came loud and clear from the other side of the pantry door. Sanji let out a pained growl and brushed the green snail off his shoulder. It latched itself onto the floor with a faint suckling sound.

"I can HEAR you, you idiot! Try being a little more obvious next ti…"

The rest of the sentence was cut short by an involuntary yawn. He saw Zoro's shadow pinch the bridge of his nose behind the slightly ajar pantry door.

"Well, don't pay attention to me, dumbass! This is supposed to be an experiment. Shut up and collaborate, it's for your own good."

Sanji cursed as he felt his legs turning into jelly. He stumbled towards the door, his vision getting blurrier with every step. This was bad. He didn't remember the curse hitting him that hard before.

"Goddamnit it moss-head! This stopped being funny a week ago!"

He tried to yell but even his voice sounded faint, like a candle about to go out. Through the dark cloud looming over him, he saw Zoro's shadow quivering in laughter.

"I don't know, love cook. I still find it hilarious."

Sanji felt a second wind coming on as the swordsman's snickering overtook all his senses. He shot out of the pantry, slamming the door against the wall and finding himself face to face with a grinning Zoro.

"That's it, shithead! I'm going to kick… your… ass…!"

The world swam in front of his eyes as he tried in vain to aim his kick at Zoro's unprotected side. The last thing he was aware of before plunging into darkness was the green haired swordsman stepping forward to catch him and muttering.

"Well, I guess that theory is out."

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**Parts 2 and 3 will be up soon**. **Until then, stay cool and don't forget to review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I know guys, I'm late. I'm sorry. Here's the second chapter for your reading pleasure.**

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Zoro was not laughing anymore.

All the will to joke around was sapped from him the moment he saw Sanji's eyes cloud over and roll back into his head. He was used to the blonde yawning uncontrollably in his presence or his movements becoming slow and clumsy but this was the first time he had seen him straight out collapse in the middle of a sentence. Instinctively, he shot forward, just in time to prevent the cook's head from smashing against the floor. The slender body landed deadweight in his arms; the cook's face buried itself in his haramaki. Zoro swayed a little, trying to keep his balance. For a while, he just stood there in stunned silence, his arms wrapped awkwardly around the limp frame, not entirely sure what to do. Finally, he slowly sank to his knees, tightening his grip on his unconscious crewmate.

"Oi, dartbrow! Are you all right?"

There was no answer except for the sound of deep, even breathing. Gingerly, Zoro gathered the blond cook in his arms, almost expecting him to suddenly come back to his senses and slam him into the wall but the blue eyes remained closed. The yellow Den Den Mushi next to his ear made a low humming noise. A second later, it curled into its shell and rolled down his back, settling in a corner with a soft clatter.

Zoro spat out a curse. His fingers wrapped around Sanji's shoulders and gave him a rough shake.

"Come on, shit cook, snap out of it! Can you hear me?"

Dead silence was his only answer. He shook him again and saw the blond head loll limply from side to side. The cook's body felt like a rag roll under his touch and even a hard slap across the face brought no reaction out of him. A long, frustrated sigh escaped Zoro's lips as he leaned back against the pantry wall, pulling the unresponsive Sanji closer. He would never admit it to his face, but the cook had been right to worry about the long term effect of Usopp's ill-fated discovery. What would happen to them if they could never speak face to face anymore?

The last thought hung over his mind like a dark cloud. He never imagined he would miss fighting with Sanji until that possibility became dangerously real.

He leaned closer to the cook's ear and yelled at the top of his lungs. "Wake up!"

Still nothing. Zoro let out a vexed groan and let the blonde's head rest in his lap. He was wasting his time; the idiot cook would probably open his eyes the moment Zoro stepped out of the door. He would be royally pissed about it too but there was pretty much nothing he could do about it unless he was willing to chase Zoro down the hallway and get knocked out by the curse again.

The image brought a small smile to his lips. Despite the creeping seriousness of the situation, he couldn't help but find the cook's current predicament slightly amusing.

He shifted in place, trying to find a way to stand up without moving around too much. Beneath him, Sanji sighed in his sleep. The crumpled cigarette in his mouth hung loosely between the slightly parted lips, its flame getting dangerously close to the fabric of his flour covered shirt.

"Ah, crap!"

Zoro's fingers moved at lightning speed as they plucked the smoking cigarette out of the cook's mouth and flicked it into the sink. He breathed out a small sigh of relief and absent-mindedly brushed specks of grey ash away from the pale skin.

His hand lingered on Sanji's cheek.

For a second he almost flinched away, his action surprising even him. He froze in place, wondering what had possessed him to even think of that. Every muscle in his body screamed at him to get up, leave the room and forget this had ever happened but for the first time in his life, he chose to ignore it. His gaze hovered over the cook's sleeping face, looking almost serene under the bright kitchen chandelier. The scene was slightly unreal as Zoro recalled the same person roundhouse kick him across the deck for spilling Nami's cocktail just a month ago.

Then again, the cook would never reveal his softer side to him, even under threat of death. Their non-violent interactions on a daily basis consisted of a couple of grunts acknowledging each other's presence and the occasional off handed remark. In that regard, the cursed ore had been a real blessing in disguise. Talking over the Den Den Mushi for the last couple of days made them rediscover the ability to have a normal conversation without snapping at each other or volleying insults. When Sanji talked to him through the yellow snail's mouth, his usual bravado seemed to fade. On good days, he could almost hear a real person with surprisingly reasonable thoughts and opinions behind that stoic, proud façade. However, when Zoro tried to approach the subject of the curse, the blonde closed off every time. Seeing him now, lying like a broken doll in his arms, Zoro finally understood what the cook had been so afraid of.

The last thing Sanji wanted was for Zoro to see him vulnerable.

He slowly leaned back against the pantry wall, brushing the last of the grey ashes away from the matted blond hair. Let him keep his secrets if he wanted. Let him keep his pride. It was enough for Zoro to see the cook's obstinate mask slip off just one time.

His thoughts were brusquely interrupted by the most terrifying sound in the world; a discreet cough coming from the kitchen's open door.

"Is this a bad time?"

Zoro felt his heart skip a beat as he recognized the redhead navigator's voice. For a moment he wondered how long Nami had been standing there; then at the last moment decided that he really did not want to know.

"I can come back later, if you want."

The voice acquired a long, sing-songy drawl that made Zoro's stomach tie in several knots. Trying his best to keep his composure, he looked up into the smirking brown eyes and growled.

"You and Robin better find a way to deal with this curse thing soon. I think it's getting worse."

Nami's smile grew wider. "Depends on your perspective I guess."

Zoro felt a twitch under his left eye. He knew that look and it was nothing but trouble. He could not imagine what the navigator was thinking right now but he could only pray that she would keep quiet about it.

"Look, this isn't what you…"

"Right!" Before he could finish stammering, Nami walked in and thrust a big leather-bound book in his face. "Don't worry; I have the answer to your problems right here."

Zoro's eyes narrowed as he looked at the faded cover. He was able to catch something about war tactics from the intricate, gothic script before Nami snatched the book away and started flicking through the pages.

"Crap, I had the exact spot marked somewhere here." She clicked her tongue and continued passing pages, her eyes occasionally darting towards the cook's head still cushioned on Zoro's haramaki. "So anyway, Usopp had the bad luck of coming across something called The Sleep of the Unjust. Apparently it was used in wars to zap the enemy forces. After all, they would be immensely easier to kill if they just fall asleep in your presence."

Zoro nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Can you fix it or not?"

To his dismay, a wicked half-smile lit Nami's face. "Well, technically, no; but you can."

She stopped and turned the book around. Zoro leaned forward and peered at a greying woodcut that took up half the page.

What he saw almost made him have an aneurysm.

"What?!"

He looked up and saw Nami's wide grin confirm his worst fears. He opened his mouth; ready to protest vehemently but the only thing that came out was a faint whimper.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me…"

The navigator shook her head eagerly and yanked the book away again. Zoro got the uneasy feeling that she was enjoying this situation too much. She looked about to glow with utter delight.

"It makes sense, doesn't it?" Nami shoved the book under her arm and shot him a bright smile like a kid waiting to open the biggest present on her birthday. "It was a war tactic after all. They had to make sure no one on the enemy side could undo the effect."

"Yeah, but kissing?!"

He could hear his own voice breaking a little and his eyes involuntarily settled on Sanji's calm face. Nami's response was another peal of laughter.

"It could have been worse, you know. It could require a blood offering or worse, a large pile of money."

"I'll take the blood, thank you!"

Nami just burst out in another round of snickering. Zoro rolled his eyes and looked away, trying desperately to ignore her and focus. Technically, the navigator was right. The solution had turned out to be relatively simple. It was just a kiss, no big deal. Lips pressing against lips; mere skin contact and nothing more. All he had to do was not think about what he was doing and it would all be over in a second.

It would be the longest second of his life.

He looked back at the sleeping cook and felt goosebumps spread over his arms and neck. Crap, he was actually nervous and the fact that he couldn't understand why, unnerved him even further. Where had all of his confidence gone all of a sudden? And why did his face suddenly feel so warm?

His eyes travelled to the cook's pale lips, his heart hammering in his chest. This felt wrong. This felt really, really wrong but for the life of him, he could not bring himself to care anymore. He tried to find comfort in the fact that if this worked, Sanji would owe him big, freshly prepared onigiri after every workout for a year big.

"So, are you going to just stand there and watch?", he growled at the navigator.

Nami's head jerked up at the sound of his voice, as if she was snapping out of a daydream. The hazy brown eyes studied him intently, as if considering her options.

"You're right, I really shouldn't." She grinned again and spun towards the kitchen door. "Not without calling Robin first! We found the solution together after all; it would be unfair if only I got the reward."

Zoro felt his stomach drop to his feel along with the rest of his hope.

"Nami, I swear, if you tell anyone…!"

He did not like the pleading ring his voice had suddenly acquired. Nami, however, just continued to grin, her eyes never leaving Sanji's sleeping form.

"Come on, don't be such a child." She put the book on the dining table and gave him one last stern look. "I'll be right back! Do NOT start without me!"

With those words, she shot out of the kitchen, calling the archaeologist's name. Unable to move from his position, Zoro watched her run up the winding stairs and swore under his breath. The navigator's sudden enthusiasm was as unexpected as it was disturbing. He could only hope that she had forgotten all about the expensive camera stashed above her work desk.

He looked down at the unconscious cook, trying to ignore the tingling feeling settling in his stomach. His peaceful expression now seemed almost mocking but there was no other way around it anymore. Nami had inadvertently put him on a time limit and the clock was ticking.

He bent down and pressed his lips against Sanji's.

In the corner, the yellow Den Den Mushi shook a little and began to hum.

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**Third chapter drops soon, I promise. Meanwhile, stay awesome and don't forget to review. **


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